The Worry

[SARAH MILCOT]

My paws hit the soft ground of the wet dirt beneath me. My speed was so fast I didn’t notice anything in front of me. I would occasionally feel the brush of pine trees hit my back legs. It wasn’t like it hurt, but the touch irritated me. My dark brown eyes wouldn’t leave the target that I was aiming for. My clothes swung around crazily as it was wrapped around my ankle. The sharp wind didn’t bother me either. The only thing I could think of doing was to finally reach the Cullen’s house and finally get some answers.

As I finally got through the nightmare of the forest I saw the white building of where the family of vampires lived. As soon as I felt my heart-neat slow down the feeling of real human emotions came back to me. The feeling of my paws growing longer, into slim human fingers. A weird tingling sensation came over me as I landed face first in the dirt naked.

I ripped my clothes of my ankle and quickly got dressed; I didn’t care how I looked right now. I ran the last bit until I reached the back door of the Cullen’s house. This was where they grew all of their plants. The smell danced around me, the scent made me feel a little calm. I knocked on the door; I didn’t care if it was pitch black and dark. Right now, all I wanted to do was see Nessie.

[ISABELLA MARIE CULLEN]

Padded foot falls could be heard coming through the woods, and towards the Cullen residence. The hustled pace resonated in Bella’s acute vampire ears as she was sitting in what was Renesmee’s room. Like any mother whom had lost there child, Bella was looking about Renesmee’s things, careful not to move a thing. Many picture perfect memories came rushing through as each individual item made its way into her gaze.

The wolves had been making extra runs since the scene between Edward and Jake, so Bella was all but about to investigate the extra set of feet running around, that was until there was a knock on the back door of the house. Taking one last glance before leaving sent a pang of hurt through Bella’s mind.

Getting down the stairs and to the back of the Cullen house took a matter of seconds, in which time Bella had not found something to distract her troubled mind. When she answered the door, it was one of the wolves, but not one that she had expected to see. What’s worse is it was sure to show. “Sarah….hi, umm what can I do for you?” It took her an extra second to realize what time of day it actually was. The sun was set, marking another day that Renesmee had not come home.

Stumbling back out of the way for Sarah to come in only showed how out of it she was over the whole thing. Bella had not show any signs of her human mannerisms since the change. But with her daughter gone and Edward so angry over the whole thing she had nowhere to release her distressing thoughts. Bella had been keeping them within herself and they were beginning to take there toll.

[SARAH MILCOT]

Right when Bella came through the door my stomach sunk. I always felt so inferior to her. Her skin was so flawless and waxen. Nothing could hurt her. I bit down on my lower lip, the way she had greeted me at the door felt like she didn’t want me here. I put some hair behind my hair and looked up at her, no matter how hard it was. My voice cracked in the beginning but I kept my ground, “I was wondering if I could see Nessie?” No one had told me what had happened at all. I felt so stupid compared to everyone. But that didn’t mean that I couldn’t fake stupidity and get someone to tell me what was going on. Seth hadn’t told me anything, and I was getting irritated. I knew so little, and I knew the Cullen’s were busy, but I was sure she could tell me. Bella, the statue like creature that stood in front of me.

My hand moved to the pockets of my shorts. I probably looked like a Neanderthal to her. I looked wretched. Dirt covered my face, but I still kept that smile on my face.

[ISABELLA MARIE CULLEN]

”I was wondering if I could see Nessie?” Those words coming from Sarah held a genuine sense of unawareness. Bella knew better then to think someone like Sarah would come here with the intention of playing a practical joke of that level. It was another case of ‘being blinded from the truth for your own protection’. Bella had been apart of that ongoing game for some time before her change, and now it was Sarah being forced into ignorance by everyone around her. “I wish you could….but she’s…”

There had to be a break in the sentence in order for Bella to get it out. Just letting it slide off the tongue was almost like saying she didn’t care, which was so opposite the truth she almost wished it were the other way around. Although Bella would never admit it to herself or anyone else for that matter, somewhere in the deep confines of her mind were horrible thoughts suggesting that this time in life would have been a lot easier had she never had Renesmee.

If tears were existent to her Bella would be a wreck in the middle of the floor, her face soaked with the salt streaks showing her agony. But instead she stood there fighting back dry eyed sobs that very easily could take her at any moment. “She’s gone…” And with that Bella was on her knees, taken down all too easily by two words. Just as she did when Edward had left, Bella was holding herself together trying ever so desperately to not loose the very last bit of her sanity. “Sarah…she’s gone…and I don’t know where she is…” What kind of mother am I….I can’t even account for the whereabouts of my own daughter…

[SARAH MILCOT]

My eyes went wide. I didn’t know what do to with a depressed vampire. I bent down quickly but not as fast as Bella had. I put my warm touch on her ice-like arm and took a deep breath, “Bella!” She looked so miserable. But I didn’t get what she meant by her being gone? Renesemee couldn’t be gone. She just…couldn’t be.

I still didn’t understand the concept of this all. Bella looked like she was on the verge of tears…but I guess it kinda sucked that she couldn’t cry any longer. I put my russet colored hand on her head; I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Her cold leaked through my fingertips. I felt a chill but luckily my own warmth over came that.

I didn’t know how strong I was but I pulled all my might in to my arms hoping I could bring Bella up once again. I kept a warm hand on her, making sure she had someone to lean on. I bit down on my bottom lip once again, a habit of mine that was not easy in wolf form, “Bella, it’ll be ok…I’m sure she’ll come back again…” She would have to right? It’s Nessie…she’s not a normal teenager. Hell. She barely is a teenager.

[ISABELLA MARIE CULLEN]

Everywhere Sarah brought her heated touch; Bella felt a small sting caused by the contrast of their temperatures. But given the emotional pain she was in, she as more then excepting of the physical discomfort. It was no simple task, but with Sarah by her side Bella stood once more. She couldn’t bring herself to look at up just yet; all the same she knew she owed Sarah some sort of thanks, not only for pulling her up off the floor, but for her digression. Bella needed to hear more then anything right now that Renesmee would come home, no matter what the circumstances said.

Finally finding ambition to lift her head Bella looked to Sarah trying to put aside her feelings of pain while in the company of another. “Thanks for not leaving; it’s been hard…to say the least.” Lastly Bella found the strength to stand on her own. As impossible as it seemed, Bella was now at a place in her life where she had to stay strong for others. Getting all torn up wasn’t going to help the others find Renesmee, but that didn’t make it any less inviting. Just letting the despair consume her was easy, staying strong not only foe herself but everyone around her was much harder.

“So how much have you heard up until now?” Bella’s gaze searched Sarah’s, but she was not Edward. She couldn’t read people like he could. If she were going to get any answers she would have to ask the questions. In the same respect, maybe Sarah knew something Bella didn’t. The Wolves and the Vampires were not on the best terms at the moment which made having Sarah here that much more enlightening.